The best thing I ever did for my writing was to get involved with a critique group. It happened because I attended my first ever writer's conference, one put on by the Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators in Seattle. There, when the opportunity was offered, I signed up to be in a critique group. Not long afterwards, I got a call telling me where and when to go, and even an offer to carpool.

To this day, I remember how scared I was to read my piece out loud. I just knew those other writers--some published, some not--were going to tell me to give up and go home. But they didn't. Yes, my picture book, or was it a short story?--I didn't even know the difference then--needed work. The group members were kind to me and pointed out what I was doing right as well as what I was doing wrong. And, they invited me back. That was in the spring of 1990.

In 1992 my first short story came out in Jack and Jill magazine. No, it wasn't that first piece I took to the critique group--it has never sold--but it definitely was one they critiqued. Since then I've sold over 130 magazine pieces and two books. The middle grade novel was inspired by my critique group. So many of the others were writing novels for children, I became interested in the process. I learned from what they did right. I learned from their critiques of my manuscript.

Groups change. People quit or move to a different group or to another town or state. My needs as a writer change. However, I think I'll always need the feedback of a critique group.

Local Writing Groups

Of course, SCBWI is a good source for children's writers. That organization has grown internationally since my first association with them. Go to www.scbwi.org and see what events might be near you by clicking on your state and following the links. If you join the organization, you can do manuscript exchanges with other members through the mail or online.

Look at other writer organizations in your area. They may not have many members focused on children's writing per se, but you can still learn a lot from "adult" writers.

Writing Classes

Sign up for a writing class at a community college or university. Even if they don't offer in-class critiques, you may connect with several other students to form your own group, or the teacher may have recommendations.

Online Writing Groups

There are online writer's groups that offer critique exchanges as well. Some are two-way list serves - designed as a place to chat, but you can ask for feedback on a manuscript. I belong to one of this type that is a Yahoo! Group. I'm sure there are others. Here's a sampling of groups* that focus on critiquing:

Writing4Kids - Weekly Online Group: http://www.angelfire.com/ultra/writing4kids/weekly.html

Critique Circle - shows sample critiques, too: http://www.critiquecircle.com/default.asp

Writing.com: http://www.writing.com/?i=1

Articles on the Net

Join a Critique Group to Get Your Writing Moving

Starting Your Own Critique Group

Debbie Ridpath Ohi's blog entry on: Online critique groups and MiG Writers

Do You Need a Critique Group?

And, of course, if you read that last title strictly as a question, my answer is "yes." You won't regret it when you find the right group. (more on that later)

*Know other online critique groups? Share about them in the comments.

Writing is such a solitary event that it can feel as if you're all alone. But you don't have to be. There are writer groups for a variety of genres. Organizations may have instructional events, guest speakers, workshops, retreats, conferences. They're a good place to learn AND to network with others who "get" what you're doing. For me the best thing I did for my writing was being involved with some groups, and along the way I've made great friends, too.

Here is a sampling of groups and organizations, with some focus on Kansas, since that's where I currently live. I strongly believe every children's writer should check out the first one!

Society for Children's Book Writers and Illustrators - an international organization that offers conferences world-wide, publications, discussion boards, grants.
www.scbwi.org

Kansas Society for Children's Book Writers and Illustrators - a local chapter, who has an annual conference, quarterly newsletters, quarterly events, an announcement list-serve, critique groups.
www.Kansas-SCBWI.org

Institute of Children's Literature - a school that offers correspondence courses with published authors as instructors, plus they have chats, web articles, a great newsletter called "The Children's Writer," and an e-newsletter.
www.institutechildrenslit.com

Christian Children's Writers List - an online group where you can meet others writing for the Christian children's market.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/CCWL

Heartland Writers for Kids and Teens - a local Kansas City group with a renowned Wednesday critique group.
http://heartlandwriters.com

Heart of America Christian Writers Network - a local Christian group who offers monthly meetings and an annual conference.
http://home.earthlink.net/~hacwn/index.html

Kansas Author's Club - welcomes creative, technical, academic and journalistic writers.
http://skyways.lib.ks.us/orgs/kac/

The Kansas City Writers Group - a local group that meets in Shawnee, Kansas and offers workshops and critique groups.
http://www.kansascitywriters.com/kcwritersgroup.htm

Missouri Writer's Guild - a statewide group that offers annual conferences.
http://www.missouriwritersguild.org/

The Writer's Place - a local Kansas City group who offers workshops, speakers, and does art displays.
http://www.writersplace.org/

Association of Authors' Representatives - has information on questions to ask an agent, a member's list, and more.
http://www.aar-online.org/mc/page.do

The Author's Guild - a national organization open to published authors writing for adults and children.
http://www.authorsguild.org/

The Children's Book Council - a trade association for children's publishers. They create a lot of useful publications. Also, includes meet the author/illustrator pieces.
http://www.cbcbooks.org/

A few years back another writer and I did a novel writing retreat. These questions are ones I developed for attendees to consider about their novels. Perhaps the updated version will be helpful for you, too.

Where will your novel be shelved after it has been published? Not just shelf, but picture what authors you will be placed between. If you don't know, take a field trip to the bookstore and see.

What is the genre and subgenre of your novel?

Middle Grade

• Adventure
• Animal
• Biographical
• Contemporary
• Early Middle Grade
• Fantasy
• Graphic
• Historical
• Horror
• Humor
• Multicultural
• Mystery
• Problem
• Religious
• School
• Science Fiction
• Sports
• Tweens

Young Adult

• Adventure
• Biographical
• Chick Lit
• Coming-of-age
• Contemporary
• Dystopian
• Edgy
• Fantasy
• Graphic
• Hi-Lo
• Historical
• Horror
• Humor
• Multicultural
• Mystery/Suspense
• Novel in Verse
• Paranormal
• Problem
• Religious
• Romance
• Science Fiction
• Sports
• Steam Punk
• Urban
• Western

I doubt these are exhaustive lists, but they should help you think about what type of novel you're writing.

What three stories are similar in some way to yours? The first 3 books or movies that come to mind when you think of your story are? What makes them similar? What is different?

Think about the books you most enjoy reading. What subgenre(s) are they? Don't know? Check out reviews, talk to booksellers and librarians.

Does what your writing fit one of the areas you love to read? If yes, keep reading those subgenres. If no, consider writing in a different subgenre--something you love to read. If you never read, how can you know what today's kids are reading?

Feel free to comment on these lists and questions. (Click on the title of the entry and it will take you to a page where you can comment.)

Nothing is better than actually meeting an agent or editor in person. (Although long term following of someone on twitter is close.) By listening to an editor or agent talk at a conference, not only do I learn about their house, their agency, their tastes, and perhaps how they work with authors, I discover something of their personality. I've gone away with "Wow, I'd love to work with __________." I've also experienced, "We just wouldn't mesh." They've also taught me about craft, given me insights into my own weaknesses in writing, made me think, inspired me, encouraged me, and challenged me. Whew!

This past year I was privileged to meet quite a number of editors and agents--all at SCBWI conferences. (If you've never gone to one, I really encourage you to do so.) Two agents that pop to mind with no reference to notes from the LA conference last August are: Marietta B. Zacker, Nancy Gault Literary Agency, and Sarah Davies (pronounced Davis), The Greenhouse Literary Agency.

I loved Marietta's straight forward, no nonsense approach--this was especially noticeable in the Q&A time. She's passionate about what she does. She advised when writers are looking for an agent that they consider these questions: "Who will share your vision? Who will share your passion?" Marietta recommends writers find the passion that each has - whatever that may be.

At the beginning of her speech Sarah answered the questions on everyone's minds. She also told her audience that writing is like being a violin player. "Would you expect to be on a world stage when you just learned to play scales?" she asked. Sarah finds it thrilling as an agent to have the opportunity to change someone's life and help them reach their dreams.

At the Iowa and Illinois SCBWI Conferences I met Candlewick Editor, Yolanda Roy, who besides being a good editor is also a singer! Which reminds me, Ted Malawer at Upstart Crow Agency, used to sing opera (Kansas SCBWI conference.) Back to Yolanda who reminded us, she and other editors do what they do because they love it. She wants to know we've checked out her publishing house when we submit.

I've heard lots of agent talks, but in Kansas Ted gave some very practical advice about what we should be asking agents. He also advised, "Think about the query letter as the bait." He believes comparisons--i.e. your manuscript to other books--are his job, not yours, which is different than what I've heard others say. (Again, why we should be out listening to these professionals speak!)

In Illinois I met Alisha Niehaus from Dial Books for Young Readers. She did a fantastic and fascinating workshop using Savvy by Ingrid Law. With permission of Ingrid she gave us insights into how the book changed--wow! When talking about middle grade readers in another session, Alisha said, "Though they wish they could make out with a vampire, they are still trying to figure out how to fasten their training bra."

I met other editors and agents in 2009, but this post is growing too long to mention them all. Over the years my knowledge of the publishing world has grown by listening to agent and editor talks, panels, critiques. I've learned how dedicated these professionals are. Best yet, I've improved my odds of finding the right home for my manuscripts.

It used to be hearing an editor or agent at a conference or event was the only way to discover what he or she was like personally. That's not true anymore. These days you can also learn about an agent's or editor's personality, pet peeves, likes and dislikes and more on the web. Many editors and agents are active with blogs and/or on twitter. Some of the blogs are personal blogs; some are official agency blogs.

Last spring on her blog, Editor Martha Mihalick talked about some of her favorite places in books.

This summer both Agent Kate Schafer Testerman and Agent Elana Roth tweeted about their frustrations of going through queries. Kate shared on twitter after posting requirements on her blog. Elana reposted her tweets as a collection on her agency's blog afterwards. One of the biggest complaints both had was that people don't follow submission directions.

Agents and editors have pet peeves, too. Look at these agents' comments. Jennifer DeChiara tweeted, "Never say 'in regards to.' Just say 'about.' 'I am writing about' instead of 'I am writing in regards to.' Please. I'm begging here." From Barry Goldblatt's Query Lessons: "'Word-jockey' Is an idiotic euphemism for 'writer.'" Lauren E. MacLeod tweets, "Am getting *really* tired of pre-query emails. Just query. If I don't want it, I'll reject."

Do agents ever purchase manuscripts from unpublished writers? Of course! Colleen Lindsay tweeted, "The first project I sold was an unpublished writer. Got her a two-book deal at Pocket. The writing is what matters."

Meeting an editor or agent at a conference helps you realize they are just people like you are. A recent tweet from Agent Jennifer Laughran illustrates that concept, "Faced with 2 equally good choices. To pick either disappoints somebody. What to do? What to do? Horns of dilemma. Ow. OW. QUIT IT, DILEMMA!" As does this one from Editor Ruta Rimas "EEEEp. Has anyone ever been too afraid to read an ms? I really want to love this one and am scared to be disappointed...!!!"

Some tweets may be rather mundane, like comments on the weather, but still give a taste of personality. In the summer Editor Sarah Shumway tweeted, "is there a snowy, chilly book you can recommend that will take me far, far away from the muggy afternoon?" By contrast Editor Kristin Daly tweeted on another day, "But the REAL excitement: Mailroom just brought me advance copies of two fab fall books. Hooray! This rainy, gloomy day is def. looking up."

They all worry about whether their books will do well. Here's a tweet from Editor Elizabeth Law, "Now that G-Force is a hit, I am hoping that guinea pigs will ride a wave of uber-popularity, in time for our own Guinea Dog." Or have hopes for their books. This blog shares some comments from Editor Nancy Mercado on Neil Armstrong Is My Uncle.

Interviews of these figures are often online, too. On this site Editor Laura Arnold discusses editing and publishing book. Sometimes the interviews are directly on the publishing house's site as is the case for this one for Editor Louise May.

So interested in an editor or agent? Of course, you'll read books they've edited and agented, attend conferences where they are, but also find out as much as you can about them on the internet.

Some Useful Resources: Bloggers Who Interview Agents and Editors

Alice Pope's CWIM Blog - http://cwim.blogspot.com
Cynthia Leitich Smith - http://cynthialeitichsmith.blogspot.com
Cynthea Liu - http://www.writingforchildrenandteens.com/ in her "Take the Dare" challenge
Wordhustler by John L. Singleton and Anne Walls

"The greatest part of a writer's time is spent in reading, in order to write; a man will turn over a half a library to make one book."
Dr. Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

Sometimes I learn by what doesn't work. I experienced this in an area of researching the market. Over the years I've faithfully read children's books and recorded what I've read, who published it, genre, and my opinion of the book. What I hadn't consistently recorded was the author or even a brief summary of the story. In addition, my recorded opinion had often been too succinct. And it had never occurred to me that it would be helpful to know when a book was published.

I look back on comments such as "couldn't finish reading it" and "same old supernatural story" and wonder what I meant. In the former case, did that mean, the writing style was difficult to read? Or did I find it boring? Was the main character uninteresting, or was the subject matter offensive? Who knows! Maybe in the latter case my notes referred to a repeated or overdone theme. Or was it the story itself that I felt had been told and retold too many times? I can't remember the story and I didn't make enough notes to remind myself of plot line or character or anything helpful to resurrect the story from my faulty memory banks.

But I learned from my mistakes. I changed my recordkeeping system to make sure I noted the author's name and a description of the book. Plus, I took a few extra moments to make clearer comments. The results are best shown by a sample comment: "odd - should we encourage kids to be friendly with real bears - not!" I know why I didn't like that story!

Being more detailed has helped me with my original intent in keeping these records--accurate marketing. When my notes are good, I can look at a publisher and see their books are "hard-hitting; not what is typical for ordinary people's lives." And since publishers do change, adding publication date helps me see easily which books are recent ventures and which happened long ago. (I keep the books in date order.)

What about the books on my list that didn't have enough information? I worked to rectify what I could. Many books I found online: my library, the publisher's website, or Amazon.com. There I could see the publication date, author, a description of the story. Often that jogged my mind and I could do an "oh, yeah" and write more notes. If that didn't help, I looked to see if the website had an option such as "see inside" this book. Rereading the beginning was the best way to bring the story back for me. However, books I read three to five years ago were often hard to find online. Some had gone out of print, but even that knowledge is useful.

In case this idea will be helpful for you, here's a recap of what I'm keep track of in the children's books I read: Publisher name, book title, author, illustrator (when appropriate), genre (including subgenre), brief description of book or storyline, publication date, and my opinion. I have books grouped under their publisher for that overall view of the house and, when possible, I note who edited the book. I keep this information in the computer in a table in a Word document, however, a spreadsheet program or a notebook would work as well.

Is this enough information to keep? It is for me. It makes a difference to my knowledge of what a house publishes. It has also shown me where I need to do more reading.

What do you want to convey in your story? I'm not talking about preaching or moralizing, but the concept you want a reader to take away from your story. The theme.

Theme might be called an underlying truth. A foundation for the story that will help guide the story. A focus or center. It's not plot. It's not necessarily the subject. It's might be described as something important that the writer believes applies to the subject.

For example, in the Harry Potter stories, the theme is "good conquers evil." The theme in the Twilight series might be "true love overcomes all." These concepts are not stated in so many words. The writer shows the theme instead of telling it.

In a novel there can be multiple themes. i.e. Harry Potter books: "loyalty to friends," "hard work" and "perseverance." The Twilight books: "protect your family" and "don't give up on getting what you want."

Often authors have a common underlying theme for their non series books or book series that feature different main characters. One adult author I read comes to mind: LE Modesitt Junior's books often express the theme of "hard work;" so much so that his characters make me feel lazy. Yet, he's not preaching at me. Instead his characters believe in hard work and follow through and I become impressed with what they do as I read. Modesitt must also believe in hard work--just look at his number of published novels.

Resources

I recently read a blog entry on theme that makes a lot of sense. Novelist Larry Brooks. says theme helps a book be memorable. He recommends including your theme in your "What's your book about?" answer. Read more at http://menwithpens.ca/fiction-writing-story-theme.

Laura Elvin refers to it as the "why of the story" in this article on theme in short stories.

Now what about premise?

Some writers use the terms theme and premise interchangeably. Rightly or wrongly, I view theme as general and premise more specific. So back to Harry Potter: "a young good wizard will conquer the evil old wizard." A premise for the Twilight series might be "if her love is strong enough, a girl can even win the vampire she loves." It's the kernel of the story. Premise might also be described as the situation or the central idea of the story.

Jeanne Vincent has an interesting article on the difference between theme and premise. Alexandra Sokoloff talks about the premise being the pitch for the story. I like her approach. Read it here: http://thedarksalon.blogspot.com/2008/05/whats-your-premise.html

However, whatever you call them, these concepts are necessary for a compelling story. You may use them unconsciously as you write or you may have to plan.

Thinking about these again makes me realize I need to make sure I know what the themes are for my works in progress. I believe knowing will help me focus my stories and in the end result in a better project.

Need ideas on how to edit your own manuscript? Here are some ideas to try. First, let your chapter or manuscript sit for a couple weeks, so you can see it afresh. Read it aloud.

Do you . . .

. . . stumble? It may mean your sentence or word choice is awkward. Or if written in verse, that your rhyme is forced or your meter is off.

. . . hear the difference between how your characters speak? If not, try this--highlight all of each character's dialogue in individual colors, then using the color key, read through a single character's words. Does his speech sound consistent? Can you tell who is speaking without taglines? Do each of your characters sound realistic? Aren't lecturing? Sound age appropriate?

. . . see the setting? It may not need to be highly detailed, but especially in novels, the reader needs to know where the character is. (i.e. a child playing in a parking lot, or an abandoned lot, gives quite a different picture than a child playing on a playground, or at the video arcade.)

. . . use all five senses? Sight and hearing are pretty easy, but don't forget to use taste, touch, and smell.

. . . feel emotion? If not, perhaps your characters aren't quite alive yet. Show us what she is feeling, to help us feel it, too.

. . . doubt whether something is working or not? If in doubt, work it out! Don't ignore those troublesome spots. Check with other writers if not sure why it isn't working.

Check for . . .

. . . passive writing. Your biggest clue is use of ing. i.e. She was standing becomes the more active She stood.

. . . excessive adverbs. Are you overusing "ly" words? Instead of using a weak verb and an adverb to modify it, replace both with an active verb. (i.e. I walked quickly to I raced or I sprinted or I scurried.)

. . . weak adjectives. Use adjectives that really make a difference. (i.e. white snow tells a reader almost nothing, because snow is usually white. However, dirty snow or packed snow or yellow snow each create a different picture.) Don't forget you can use similes and metaphors occasionally, too.

. . . specific nouns. Don't be vague and you may not need to use adjectives with your nouns. (i.e. instead of He fed his pet, try He fed his dog or He fed his Great Dane. See how getting more specific, gives a clearer picture?)

. . . overuse of prepositional phrases, especially those beginning with "as." Actions can be shown one at a time and are often clearer, than trying to show two actions at once. (i.e. As Benny walked to school, he saw . . . could become On the way to school Benny saw . . . or Benny had almost reached school when he saw . . .)

. . . overuse of flashbacks. Flashbacks pull the reader out of the present action. Use sparingly. Consider telling the story in chronological order and see if that improves the flow of your story.

. . . heavy sections of black text. Reader's like some white space. This can be provided by using dialogue, shorter paragraphs mixed in with long ones. Breaking up narration with action. Eliminating unnecessary description.

. . . scenes that don't move the story forward. Sometimes we write too many details, when instead we need a brief summary as a transition between scenes. (An example would be the details of what a character had for breakfast, who with, and how long it took, when this really is just filler between the important idea he had when he woke up and his action to use the idea after breakfast. When Lee woke up, he knew what he had to do. After breakfast, he raced next door . . .) Ask yourself the following questions:

• Does this add to the story?


• Am I getting to the main point here?


• Will the reader care about this?


• How does this make my main character appear?

. . . clear transitions. These can be brief (i.e. the next morning), but the main purpose is to show we're not in the same place and/or time.

. . . a strong beginning. Did you start with the moment that is different? Did you start with action, not background info? Does your reader soon know what the main character's problem is?

. . . a satisfactory ending. Does your story come full circle? Is the problem presented early on resolved? (Doesn't necessarily mean a happy ending or all questions answered.) Did your character change and grow? Did your antagonist get what he deserves? Was this relationship/problem resolved at the right time?

. . . varied sentence structure. Don't always use noun verb subject order. (i.e. Dolly washed her hair and sat down to do her homework could be changed to After washing her hair, Dolly sat down to do her homework.)

. . . varied sentence length. Short sentences create more tension. Longer ones, a more relaxed feel. You can even have sentence fragments where the subject and verb are understood, not stated or use them for emphasis, i.e. CRASH!

. . . correct spelling and grammar. You did use your computer spell check, right? And rechecked after editing? And checked visually? Spell check can't catch "their" instead of "there," but it can catch many words. Your grammar checker can help where spell check doesn't. It is not an infallible tool--it especially was not aimed at fiction--but if pops up, make sure you understand the "rule" it says you are breaking.

. . . correct punctuation. A great favorite resource is Errors in English and How to Correct Them by Shaw. It helps with word usage and grammar, too. If you have someone in your critique group, who readily spots grammar and punctuation mistakes, ask them to read over your manuscript.

Weed Out Weasel Words
They are those words that just slip their way into your manuscript. Often they are used again, and again, and again. The examples below may or may not be a problem for you, or you may have others to add to this list.

really
finally
just
very
so
then
next
seems, seemed
began
that

Agent Rachelle Gardner has an even longer list on her blog at http://cba-ramblings.blogspot.com/.

Or because of your subject matter, you may use the same word over and over. Find other ways to say it.

Tighten
One well-published author, Peg Kehret, looks at each page and tries to eliminate 3 words per page. Pretend you have a word count limit per chapter or scene. When forced to reduce text to make word count, you often see unnecessary words or sentences.

Repeat as Needed
Make your changes, again let the manuscript set for a time. Sometimes it helps to print it out in a different size font. Reread it and see if more changes are necessary. Repeat as many times as needed. When satisfied that is as good as you can make it, take it to a critique group or do a manuscript exchange. After the critique, you'll probably be making more additions, deletions, and corrections.

Pay Attention to Comments
Pay attention to critiquers' comments that you receive frequently, i.e. show don't tell. If you have good critiquers, this is an indication you have a weakness in that area. Do your best to not hear that comment again by educating yourself to spot it yourself. If you don't understand what they mean, find out!

If you consistently get personal rejections that comment on one problem, that problem may cross into other manuscripts as well. Learn as much as you can about strengthening your skills in your problem area.

If writing an outline before you create your story is not for you, perhaps a story ladder would be a good choice.

Keeping track of where and when things happen can make sure you don't end up having Monday happen twice in one week in your story. It also can help you strengthen endings and beginnings of chapters. Plus when you make a change in a story that necessitates a change earlier on, it makes it easier to find the appropriate scene or place.

You may want to write a few chapters before creating it. Or you may use it as a mini-outline to write from. Following are several samples.

Going back over my story ladder for one novel, I added a column for main plot and subplot, which let me see how balanced the story was. I've also added codes or columns so I can see how often I mention a character trait--this helps me not forget some mannerism or habit that should be ongoing. Or perhaps it helps me keep track of something in the character's setting which is important either to the plot or to the character.

Sometimes the summary shows me that not much happened in a chapter. I can then ask myself do I need this scene? Is it moving the story forward? Do I need to strengthen it or combine it with another chapter? Is it in the wrong place?

Page numbers and/or word count show the lengths of my chapters. If most of them are a consistent length, except for this one long one, perhaps I consider breaking it into two chapters.

Use a story ladder as a tool for what YOU need to keep track of in your story. For a mystery, you might want a column for clues, so you know when you've revealed what. If you're writing a novel with multiple viewpoints, you may need a column to indicate whose viewpoint each chapter or section is in.

A story ladder or novel timeline can be helpful when you have to create a synopsis, too, since the basics are already gathered in one place.

"Show don't tell," writers say. But what exactly does that mean? "Telling" is talking about what happened in a story. "Showing" is putting the reader on scene. We are there while it is happening. It's like being at the theater and watching the monster break through the screen compared to hearing a news reporter tell about the incident.

How do you do it? By using the following. Not all will be used all the time, but a mixture can definitely help your reader be on scene.

• ACTION
Show the reader what is happening. Let them know what the character is doing. It might be some repetitive action he or she does--a habit--or just what they are doing at the moment and how they are doing it.

Not: Stephanie was nervous.
Instead: Stephanie ran her curled hand down the leg of her jeans and back up. The scrape scrape of her fingernails sped up along with the rate of her breathing.

• ACTIVE VERBS (LIMIT ADVERBS)
If you can't come up with active verb, use a thesaurus to help you find just the right one. The right verb can even give a sense of the mood of the action. We don't usually stomp when we are happy!

He raced or sprinted...
instead of
He walked hurriedly... OR He went quickly...

OR the passive form He was walking...

• THOUGHTS
Let us know what the main character is thinking. Give us insights into the main character's thought processes.

Not: Jared thought he should apologize. OR Jared knew he should apologize.
Instead: I guess I'd better tell her I'm sorry, Jared thought. If I don't, she won't let me go to Matthew's house. And then, I'll really be . . .

• DIALOGUE
Let us hear the characters talk. It will add life to your story. Three different people will say the same thing three different ways.

"What's up?"
"Hey, how're you doin'?"
"How are you this fine morning?"

• FEELINGS
Let us feel what your main character is feeling. This can be done with action, dialogue, thoughts, or a combination of the three.

Not: Elaine was sad she didn't get to go.
Instead: Elaine pouted. "It's not fair. I worked as hard as she did! Why don't I get to go?"

• DESCRIPTION
Let us see where and when your scene is happening. Don't forget to include other senses besides sight: tactile, taste, smell, hearing. Is this a contemporary story or historical? What you describe will let us know.

The boy shivered in the cold morning air. Ice had formed on the watering trough. In the barn the cow lowed. If he didn't get her milked right away, Pa would take the switch to him. He hoped Ma would have some of the salt pork fried up when he got back to the cabin.

• SPECIFIC NOUNS
Make it clear what you are talking about by using specific nouns. Three people squeezing into a Ferrari gives a different picture than three people climbing into an SUV. Even in simple sentences being precise is better.

She fed her iguana.
instead of
She fed her pet.

• ADJECTIVES THAT COUNT
Not white snow, because most everyone knows it is white. Instead dirty snow, waist-deep snow, packed snow all create different pictures. Don't go overboard here either. One well-chosen adjective is usually better than a series of weak adjectives:

The humongous dog...
NOT
The very big dog...

Examples using the above suggestions:

Telling:

I was alone in the house and a noise upstairs scared me.

Showing:

The house was quiet. Too quiet. The only sounds were the ticking of the living room clock and the pounding of my heart. I glanced over my shoulder as if I thought someone might be there. Of course, no one was. Why should there be? I knew I was alone. And then I heard it. A thump. Someone had knocked something over in the attic.

Telling:

Jeff broke his mother's antique vase and was in trouble when she saw it.

Showing:

Crash! Jeff stared at the shattered glass on the hardwood floor. Oh, no! He slapped his palm against his forehead. Mom's going to kill me! She's always telling anyone who will listen how the vase came from Texas in a covered wagon. And now I bumped it with my stupid backpack and broke the stupid thing.

Jeff bent down to see if there was anything worth saving, then jerked upright at the
tap, tap, tap of approaching high heels. "I'm sorry, Mom, I'm sorry," he said. "It was on accident."

Mrs. Winsted's mouth gaped open the moment she saw the ruined antique. "Jeffrey Andrews Windsted! Do you realize what you've done? That vase was passed down from my great-grandmother!" She grabbed his shoulder and squeezed.

Is there a time to tell? Yes. We often use telling for simple transitions.

There wasn't anything else I could do, so I left the room.

• Here, we don't want a blow by blow of how the person got out of the room.

After Leanne showered and put on her nightgown, she crawled into bed.

• The details of her shower and her nightgown are not important.

Winston explained his secret plan.

• If we've already heard his thoughts about his plans, we don't need a rehash as he tells his friend. Or perhaps this simple telling is to keep the reader in suspense; the reader will learn as the plan unfolds before them.

However, if you find yourself telling something important, such as a fight or the danger the character is in, resist temptation and share the gory details. Your readers will appreciate it.