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CUT IN THE CRITIQUE

princess diaries.jpg

Too long, needed to more quickly get to the point, didn't add to the story, wasn't enough of a comeuppance for the bad girl... The comments by the director about the deleted scenes for the movie The Princess Diaries (2001) are valuable reminders for editing our own stories. (Watch them on the DVD.) As I did, you'll probably find yourself agreeing, yes, that scene wasn't necessary. Or, yes, it's a stronger story without this one. The director even cut some of his favorite scenes to make a better movie.

Enabling us to produce better manuscripts is why critique groups exist. Watching the director commentary was almost like getting a bird's eye view of a critique from start to finish: the pre-critiqued version and the tightened, more focused version. For me, it gave me additional tools for looking at scenes in my own fiction. I learned these questions*:

• Does this add to the story?
• Does this get the emotional reaction I want?
• Am I getting to the main point here?
• Will the reader care about this?
• How does this make my main character appear?
• Is my antagonist getting what he deserves?
• Is this the right time for this relationship/problem to be resolved?

I shouldn't just ask these questions of myself, but ask my critique group to respond, too.

Does this mean I might have to cut a scene I like? Yes. Does this mean I'll have to do rewriting and reordering? Yes. Will it be worth it? YES! If my story goes out to an editor stronger, clearer, better focused, my odds of acceptance are increased.

*Variants of these questions may also be useful when critiquing others.

• What is the emotional reaction you want from this scene?
• Your main character seems rather useless here, is that what you want me to think?
• Do you think your villain is getting what he deserves here?
• Should these characters be getting along so well in this scene?

In addition to being more thought provoking, critique questions can also make a nice variation from "too long," "need to get to the point more quickly," etc. statements.

Got any other movie examples that help remind us what to edit in our own stories? Feel free to share them here.

Critique Methods

A SAMPLE FACE-TO-FACE CRITIQUE GROUP

In this scenario, each writer brings a manuscript for critique. Depending on the size of the group, it may be limited to 5 or 6 pages, or other groups use a timer. Hard copies may be brought for each critiquer to make notes. Otherwise, blank paper is needed. The writer or reader (can be someone besides the author) reads the manuscript aloud. The critiquers take turns commenting on what they found.

THE READER needs to say:

• what the piece is: an article, a short story, the opening of a novel, an essay, etc
• who the audience is: adults, children (if so, what age), secular or religious market
• if a specific market is in mind, say so (i.e. Highlights Magazine)
• word length
• MAY say, this is a first draft, but NOT apologize

THE CRITIQUERS need to:
1. Listen and write down comments as the piece is read--a simple way to note what you think is by using, plusses, minuses, and question marks. i.e.

+ flapping gums - lifeless cadaver
? why did Matthew .... + Amy's character
+ smashed - was walking is passive

2. Give a verbal presentation of their critique, stating something positive first (i.e. I like your idea, how you showed your character, the title, etc.)

3. Share areas of the writing that were confusing, that could be phrased better, etc.

4. Make marketing suggestions, if something comes to mind.

5. Don't repeat every thing that everyone else has already said, though feel to add "agree with" and/or "disagree with or I got that" on written notes on manuscript. May say, after saying something positive, "the only thing I have to add is . . ." If you disagree with another's comments and feel it needs to be said aloud, say so nicely.

6. Give written comments to the reader when done.

The next READER passes out manuscripts and reads. Everyone gets an opportunity. Many leaders keep track of the order of readers presenting from meeting to meeting, so someone isn't always first or last.

Some groups send material ahead of time to each member to read so the time together is only spent sharing comments.

Groups often form long-lasting relationships. But sometimes a group is not a match. Try another group.


ONLINE CRITIQUES

Online critique groups work similarly, but have special needs, especially the notating on the manuscript itself. There are several methods that make it easy to do however.

• If all members of group use Microsoft Word (and similar versions), the commenting option is a great way to put reader's comments in a manuscript. Each member will save the pages being critiqued with their own name added to the file name, so the writer knows who wrote which critique in case of questions.
• Other groups might use a combination of highlighting (i.e. green for what the critiquer likes and yellow for areas of concern) with comments typed in CAPS to separate them from the manuscript. Text boxes can be used as well for comments.

Usually with either of these methods, every member of the group sees general comments in email, but only the writer sees the line-by-line comments. In either case, both general comments and manuscript notations will include positive as well as negative.


Some groups use an online work space, such as google docs or pbworks, to upload documents and post comments so everyone in the group can see others' comments.


ONE-ON-ONES

You may also find that a particular person in one of your groups is especially good at helping you in an area of weakness. Perhaps you can do one-on-one critique exchanges with each other.

In my case one critique group had been telling me that I needed to share more of my character's emotions. I'd look at my chapters and think, Where?! I met another gal who read a chapter and said, "I want to know what she is thinking/feeling here." She told me exactly where in the manuscript. The proverbial light bulb clicked on. She was willing to read the entire manuscript in exchange for the same from me. Her input was invaluable.

Some people find someone to do a critique exchange via an online writers group, or at a writers workshop or conference. If you don't know someone well, always agree to a trial of either a chapter or so many pages, instead of promising to exchange complete manuscript novels. Make sure you each find the other person's comments helpful before proceeding.

THE SANDWICH OF CRITIQUE

sandwich olimpicos by alvimann.jpg

You may be wondering how a critique group works. There are many methods and styles of critiquing. Some are face-to-face, some online. Some face-to-face groups read the manuscript out loud and then discuss. Some send manuscripts ahead of time, so that the time together is only spent discussing. Online groups might send attached documents so the "commenting" option in MS Word can be used. Others exchange manuscripts and comments directly in email.

Whatever method used, there should always be a sandwich approach to comments. Simply stated: say something good first, talk about problems, end with something positive. It's good to keep in mind the purpose of critique, which is to help improve writing--not be a mutual admiration time or an opportunity to tear down another person or their writing.


Let me demonstrate using A SANDWICH as an analogy.

BREAD represents positive comments that hold the sandwich together.


  • Sometimes you have...

  • thin slices, or a single slice - not much to say

  • a big fat roll - lots to say

  • whole wheat or white - more detailed or general comments

  • This might include marketing suggestions

CONDIMENTS are a thin spread of the "nitpicky" variety of comments or questions.


  • These can be added anytime during the sandwich making process

  • a specific word that doesn't work for the listener

  • such things as: "could you name character's with more dissimilar names?--I'm getting confused"

  • remove "that" from your 2nd sentence

VEGETABLES are those healthy comments to improve the story or article.


  • Warnings of off-putting patterns

  • weasel words (those words that just slip in, such as "very" or "seems")*

  • passive verbs

  • excessive adverbs or adjectives

  • unvaried sentence structure

  • Requests for more

  • "What is the character thinking or feeling?"

  • "I'm having difficulty picturing this scene. Can you put in more details of setting and action?"

MEAT/CHEESE are questions and comments that reach to the heart of problems in a piece.

  • These may be in depth, but mainly deal with "big" issues

  • story is not plausible

  • article doesn't make sense

  • character doesn't feel real

  • telling versus showing

  • references don't support point

  • confusion on who or what the story is about

  • Since these are tough for the writer to hear, it is important to say what IS working


* I love agent Rachelle Gardner's list of words to cut. Do you have more that slip into your manuscripts? Feel free to share them here.

CRITIQUE GROUPS: GO FOR IT!

Around Table by Kevin Rosseel.jpg

The best thing I ever did for my writing was to get involved with a critique group. It happened because I attended my first ever writer's conference, one put on by the Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators in Seattle. There, when the opportunity was offered, I signed up to be in a critique group. Not long afterwards, I got a call telling me where and when to go, and even an offer to carpool.

To this day, I remember how scared I was to read my piece out loud. I just knew those other writers--some published, some not--were going to tell me to give up and go home. But they didn't. Yes, my picture book, or was it a short story?--I didn't even know the difference then--needed work. The group members were kind to me and pointed out what I was doing right as well as what I was doing wrong. And, they invited me back. That was in the spring of 1990.

In 1992 my first short story came out in Jack and Jill magazine. No, it wasn't that first piece I took to the critique group--it has never sold--but it definitely was one they critiqued. Since then I've sold over 130 magazine pieces and two books. The middle grade novel was inspired by my critique group. So many of the others were writing novels for children, I became interested in the process. I learned from what they did right. I learned from their critiques of my manuscript.

Groups change. People quit or move to a different group or to another town or state. My needs as a writer change. However, I think I'll always need the feedback of a critique group.

SO HOW DO YOU FIND ONE?

Local Writing Groups

Of course, SCBWI is a good source for children's writers. That organization has grown internationally since my first association with them. Go to www.scbwi.org and see what events might be near you by clicking on your state and following the links. If you join the organization, you can do manuscript exchanges with other members through the mail or online.

Look at other writer organizations in your area. They may not have many members focused on children's writing per se, but you can still learn a lot from "adult" writers.

Writing Classes

Sign up for a writing class at a community college or university. Even if they don't offer in-class critiques, you may connect with several other students to form your own group, or the teacher may have recommendations.

Online Writing Groups

There are online writer's groups that offer critique exchanges as well. Some are two-way list serves - designed as a place to chat, but you can ask for feedback on a manuscript. I belong to one of this type that is a Yahoo! Group. I'm sure there are others. Here's a sampling of groups* that focus on critiquing:

Writing4Kids - Weekly Online Group: http://www.angelfire.com/ultra/writing4kids/weekly.html

Critique Circle - shows sample critiques, too: http://www.critiquecircle.com/default.asp

Writing.com: http://www.writing.com/?i=1

CRITIQUE RESOURCES

Articles on the Net

Join a Critique Group to Get Your Writing Moving

Starting Your Own Critique Group

Debbie Ridpath Ohi's blog entry on: Online critique groups and MiG Writers


Do You Need a Critique Group?

And, of course, if you read that last title strictly as a question, my answer is "yes." You won't regret it when you find the right group. (more on that later)


*Know other online critique groups? Share about them in the comments.

Organizations and Groups

Writing is such a solitary event that it can feel as if you're all alone. But you don't have to be. There are writer groups for a variety of genres. Organizations may have instructional events, guest speakers, workshops, retreats, conferences. They're a good place to learn AND to network with others who "get" what you're doing. For me the best thing I did for my writing was being involved with some groups, and along the way I've made great friends, too.

Here is a sampling of groups and organizations, with some focus on Kansas, since that's where I currently live. I strongly believe every children's writer should check out the first one!

SCBWI-logo sm.jpgSociety for Children's Book Writers and Illustrators - an international organization that offers conferences world-wide, publications, discussion boards, grants.
www.scbwi.org

KS SCBWI LOGO.jpgKansas Society for Children's Book Writers and Illustrators - a local chapter, who has an annual conference, quarterly newsletters, quarterly events, an announcement list-serve, critique groups.
www.Kansas-SCBWI.org

logo_icl.gifInstitute of Children's Literature - a school that offers correspondence courses with published authors as instructors, plus they have chats, web articles, a great newsletter called "The Children's Writer," and an e-newsletter.
www.institutechildrenslit.com

Christian Children's Writers List - an online group where you can meet others writing for the Christian children's market.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/CCWL

Heartland Writers for Kids and Teens - a local Kansas City group with a renowned Wednesday critique group.
http://heartlandwriters.com

Heart of America Christian Writers Network - a local Christian group who offers monthly meetings and an annual conference.
http://home.earthlink.net/~hacwn/index.html

Kansas Author's Club - welcomes creative, technical, academic and journalistic writers.
http://skyways.lib.ks.us/orgs/kac/

The Kansas City Writers Group - a local group that meets in Shawnee, Kansas and offers workshops and critique groups.
http://www.kansascitywriters.com/kcwritersgroup.htm

Missouri Writer's Guild - a statewide group that offers annual conferences.
http://www.missouriwritersguild.org/

The Writer's Place
- a local Kansas City group who offers workshops, speakers, and does art displays.
http://www.writersplace.org/

Association of Authors' Representatives - has information on questions to ask an agent, a member's list, and more.
http://www.aar-online.org/mc/page.do

The Author's Guild - a national organization open to published authors writing for adults and children.
http://www.authorsguild.org/

The Children's Book Council - a trade association for children's publishers. They create a lot of useful publications. Also, includes meet the author/illustrator pieces.
http://www.cbcbooks.org/

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